Day 10 + 11 – Days of Very Little

I’m covering Friday and Saturday in one post because well, to be honest, I did basically nothing. Both days I gave A another few hours of English lessons, covering more phrasal verbs. I’m getting a little tired of the set up, and slightly concerned we will run out of phrases to look at, but then I have no real idea of another way to do it, and this is what she asked for…

Friday evening was spent food shopping with my Aunt, beginning with a McDonalds (well, you know, when in Berlin…). We actually found out that a plain cheeseburger is still called plain here, so I don’t even have to know the German for it! Seems slightly unimportant but when you’re a fussy eater it’s good to know for if it gets to a point of food desperation and I have to settle for McDonalds. Anyway we did the food shop and got my essentials. I feel very lucky for how much help I’ve been getting since I’ve been here.

Saturday I did even less! More lesson time with A, then the rest of the day lounging around in my room. I went for a brief walk to the river (approximately 1 minute from the flat) to at least get a little air.

And that’s about it! Well, it can’t be go go go all the time, right?

Day 9 – City Trawling and Minor Freak Outs.

I started the day slowly. The sudden inclusion of exercise into my live has taken its toll on me and I’ve started to feel tired the majority of the time. I rested, slowly got myself together: getting dressed and such. After a while I went upstairs and A and I had our first proper English lesson together. Basically she wanted to go through a book of phrasal verbs and have me explain their meanings and give her some examples. For the first lesson it went pretty smoothly; I had been worried about how they would pan out.

At around 2pm, and when the lesson had more or less fizzled out, I got a text from Redditor D,  asking if I wanted to go to some sort of plane museum. Now, I don’t know if this makes me a typical girl, but I can’t say planes are really my thing, but being social and having more time to solidify a friendship is, so I said I would love to go. 

I had to get ready at a serious speed, throwing make up on, stuffing my bag full and racing from the house.

We met in Charlottenburg and Redditor S told us we would have to get an hours bus to the museum. It was already 4pm by this time, but I kept quiet, I’m trying out this whole spontaneous go with the flow approach (completely against my nature). We walked to the bus stop, getting pizza on the way. At the bus stop we tried to look for times and couldn’t find any. I was keeping an eye on the time. It hit half 4, and we knew the museum would close at 6, giving us only half an hour once we were there. I couldn’t help myself; my organisational nature kicked in. I suggested we do something else instead and go to the museum another day. It turned out this was a good suggestion as we realised moments later that there was a message saying there were delays to the bus line, so it might have never even come!

Instead we got back on a train and headed back around the city (turned out to be right beside where I’m staying in Berlin!) and to something Redditor S suggested. He had explained it was a labyrinth. Now to me that said some big outside maze that we would go around together and it could be quite fun. I guess I didn’t hear the, it’s a bar, part.

It turned out to be this weird bar that played strange noises and music, was small and dark with creepy artwork and objects on the walls. We queued up to pay to go in the labyrinth, but I was already getting a faint, panicky feeling. I felt like I was hyperventilating, I couldn’t quite get enough air into my lungs and it was making me light headed. I voiced my concerns but the boys reassured me that it was meant to be fun and interesting, and not a horror maze. I finally agreed to still go ahead with it, thinking, at least they’ll be there with me and can help if I panic. So we paid and were told there would be half an hours wait, so we got drinks. I was still panicky and so when I got to the bar I slipped into my old ways. I’m not very good at ordering things, even in England, because I never know what to ask for. In the end I just got a coke because it was easiest, but that meant I was still on a panicked edge when we sat down.

I managed to calm down a little, enough to relax and take part in conversation with two Canadian boys we had met. After a while though, one of the owners of the bar came to collect someone close by us to enter the labyrinth, and that’s when I saw the blindfold. The boy was lead off, alone, separated from his group. I turned to the others. We would have to go in alone.

The panic came back, worse this time. I couldn’t do it alone, what if I had a panic attack? I can’t speak German, what if I got lost and panicked and couldn’t find or speak to someone to help me? Nope, not doing it.

Redditor S went with me to get a refund, and although I did get one, the manager of the bar made it stupidly difficult. He asked me to explain why I was scared, and instead of reassuring me he belittled my fears, made out I was being ridiculous and kept saying how much of a shame it was I wasn’t going to do it. I don’t care if it’s a shame! I thought. I had already pushed myself so far on this trip, and this would be one step too much.

I waited 40 minutes while the boys did the maze, sitting in front of a fire drinking my coke and Facebooking my boyfriend. Redditor D came back first, oddly since he went in later than Redditor S. He told me all about it. Basically it was a maze of rooms and tunnels all of which were designed in ways to confuse the senses, including: pitched black rooms, tunnels you crawl along and they get smaller, a room designed to look like a vagina and all sorts of other noises and smells pumped into rooms and weird feeling things on the walls and floor. I knew immediately I would have completely hated everything about it, I’ve never been so glad to chicken out of something.

Redditor S emerged long after we had come up with various explanations for his disappearance; completely lost, drugs, death. It turned out he had met a group of girls in the maze and wanted to go for food with them. I’m not very good with girls, it just takes me longer to feel comfortable with them and be able to talk to them, so I decided to head home. It turned out we ended up right at the end of my street so it was an easy walk home. I didn’t feel so good though.

This was my first pang of homesickness since I got here. I missed my boyfriend terribly, so we Skyped and it helped. In the end I was glad I spent more time with the people I had met on Tuesday, but perhaps I should try have more input in where we go.

Day 8 – Observations and Spontaneous Adventures.

The plan for Wednesday was always going to be to go with A to my Uncle’s English lesson and observe. I managed to get up and shower and be ready to leave all before 10:30am, I think that’s a record for me!

We made our way to the language school taking the U-Bahns. This was actually the first time I have seen a controller on the trains. They literally look like the dodgey men on market stalls, in Adidas tracky bottoms, sports trainers and a little bag around their waist, if they had taken my ticket out of my hands I might have been suspicious. They are so different to the conductors in the UK, who wear a uniform and actually look like they’re paid to do it.

The lesson was good, at first I wasn’t going to get involved, being the massive chicken that I am, but then my Uncle paired me with one of the students and I really got into the lesson. The man I was paired with was really interesting; he had worked in several different countries and learnt several languages. His English was really good and I enjoyed talking to him a lot. I was also paired with a woman, and she told me about all the holidays she was planning to go on. One of them was a survival holiday, which sounds so cool! Basically she and a friend are going to go to a forest and have a guide who will show them how to survive after a disaster. He’ll help them make shelter and find food and show them what to do in the situation. I’m not sure I would be cut out for that though, but it sounds so exciting.

The rest of the lesson was focused on the TV series The Long Way Round, which just made me think of my mum who is in love with Ewan McGregor.

I went home with A and resigned myself to a day of catching up on sleep and chilling out at the house. This was going along nicely until I was invited out for tea by Redditor D who I met at the reddit meet up the night before. Going out? Past 6pm? How exciting! I swiftly made myself presentable, shoved everything into my bag, and rushed out of the house. I asked my Aunt for some advice on where to go and she suggested Hackesher markt, so that’s where we went.

We met on the platform at about half 8 (I haven’t felt this independent and grown up since university, its funny how much living at home with your parents makes you regress to thinking like a teenager again: “home before dark”). We talked easily and I felt very comfortable with him, which is really good, I was nervous it would be awkward; I’m not very good at talking to new people or at having the confidence to keep up conversation.

Thus begun our epic quest to find food. We had to be wandering around for at least an hour, we used navigation and Google maps, trying to find a restaurant my Aunt found online. I managed to get an address and we had more luck. On the way we passed an American restaurant that I would quite like to try sometime, so will keep it in mind. We traversed the dodgey-est streets, sometimes with no more than torch light to find our way. Luckily we found the place eventually. It was an Italian place called Oliva’s and it was good food and quite cheap!

Overall a successful night; bonding with my new friend and having a nice meal out. There’s something to be said for spontaneous adventures after all.

Day 7 - Exploration and a Quest to Make Friends

I set off fairly late in the day, the only real plans I had were for the evening. I’ve been using the website reddit.com more and more recently. Before now I had always used it for the Secret Santa, which is a gift giving section of reddit, where you send strangers gifts and you receive one yourself. My boyfriend is a massive fan of reddit, but I never really got into it. I did however find a page called berlin social club, and on it there were posts about a regular weekly meet up in the city for people wanting to make friends and meet fellow redditors. How perfect! That was at 9pm though, so I set off into the city by myself for the afternoon first.

My Aunt recommended another British shop that her friend had told her about and gave me an address. It was in Neukolln, which wasn’t far from where I was heading, so I went there first. I came out of the S-Bahn station and walked to the street it was supposedly on. It was very very long! And a little bit dodgey, but OK I thought, it’s daylight, I’m sure it’ll be fine. I walked and walked and walked feeling more and more awkward. After walking nearly the whole way down the street, and way past where Google maps said the shop was, I gave up and walked back again, already feeling a little tired.

Next I went to another place my Aunt suggested, which was a shopping street called Bergmannstr. It was a nice area, I didn’t buy anything, the shops weren’t realy my style; all hippy and a little unusual. I had my packed lunch in front of some sort of church (apologies for my lack of knowledge on religion and what the building actually was).

After this I made my way to where the meeting would be that evening; I figured it was a good idea to check the area and location out before dark, so I knew where I was going later. I got off at the right station and walked all the way down to the bar. I reached the right street and started to walk along it, trying to keep an eye out for the bar. Once again I walked nearly the whole way along a massive street and didn’t find it! This was more important than finding the shop, it was going to be my main chance at making friends. I turned and walked back along, being more careful to check every building. Typically, ended up being one of the first I walked past! It had the gratings down so I couldn’t see inside, but at least I knew where it was.

I headed home and bought some very cheap wine; €2.99! I was amazed. I had a few drinks, made my bolognaise, then got ready to go out.

I have to admit, it took some convincing. It got to ten to 9 and I was still sat on my bed just thinking shit, I can’t do this. I would have to find the right people, make conversation, seem interesting and likable and the whole thing was really stressing me out. Eventually I forced myself to leave the house.

I got there by about half 9 and stood outside the bar for aaaages. I was trying to prepare myself, to plan out what I would do once I was inside. I would buy a drink and then look for the person I had been talking to on reddit already. If that failed I would ask the barman. Right, sorted. So I went in.

At the bar I made a terrible attempt to order a drink, falling back on the standard vodka and coke. Luckily the barman spoke English and was a redditor himself and he asked if that’s why I was here. Relieved I said “yes!” and he said everyone from reddit gets a shot, and poured me a strange bright green shot. I had no idea what it was but drank it quickly and followed it with some of my actual drink. It turned out two Redditors, here by known as Redditor D and Redditor F, were already there an stood right next to me! They said hello and asked me some questions, I think they could tell I was nervous and I was very grateful that they made the effort to make conversation making it easier on me. We sat down and chatted. The bar was really nice, nothing like the bars in the UK. There was no dancing or terrible music, no sleazy boys getting off with girls in basically no clothing. Everyone was seated having their own conversations. A black and white film played through a projector onto the stone wall. There was just a really nice atmosphere. All bars in Berlin appear to be smoking bars, something very different to the UK. It wasn’t too bad though, once I got used to it.

Two more redditors turned up, Redditor S (who I had spoken to before) and Redditor A. So in the end it was me and four boys, which was fine by me, I’m much more comfortable with boys; I share their interests (well, a lot of them anyway), and I feel less paranoid that they are judging me or that they might be bitchy.

The reddit night was really good, and I was so glad I went. I am quite proud of myself for doing it too, moving to Berlin, even for just a month or so, was a massive step for me, it’s already really tested my coping abilities, my bravery and my confidence, and going to this meet up was one of the defining moments. I’ve made some friends already from it, and that’s so reassuring.

I went home, told my boyfriend all about it (he’s so supportive about the whole thing, I’m very lucky), and went to bed.

Day 6 - Sight Seeing

I decided to do some sight seeing, I mean, it’s a necessity in a city steeped with so much history, right? I set off for Potsdamer Platz, map in hand. I’ve become pretty reliant on maps, especially of the train system.

I got off in Potsdamer Platz and wandered around the Sony Centre. There isn’t much to do in Potsdamer Platz, or at least I didn’t find much to do, but there Sony Centre building is interesting to look at, luckily it was a really nice day for wandering around. I checked my map and decided to walk up to the Holocaust memorial, which is closer to the Reichstag than Potsdam but what the hell.

I tried to follow my map (which actually isn’t nearly detailed enough) and ended up with no clue where I was. I did come across a park though, which I managed to work out was part of the Teirgarten.

After having a little look around I got myself back on the right path and walked up to the memorial.

It’s astounding. When you put the people running up and down the aisles and climbing across the pillars aside, and just concentrate on the feeling of the place, of being right in the middle of it surrounded by huge black pillars towering over your head, it’s pretty incredible. 

I went from this up to the Brandenburg Gate, which was just full of tourists and people dressed up trying to make money, including a random Predator.

OK so here’s some more advice, some I will keep in mind from now on. I was stood at the gate texting someone and was approached by some woman. Obviously since I couldn’t speak German I just shook my head at her but she thrust a clipboard in my face. Well I wasn’t really thinking, and in England usually when someone wants you to sign something its just some sort of petition so I was like alright whatever and signed it. And then she pointed out that it’s for giving a donation. Ugh! I was still in some sort of daze and for some reason gave her 5 euros, but no, apparently minimum is 10! But by that point I’d already passed her 5 and she wouldn’t give it back so I gave her another 5 and she went on her way. But from that moment I felt like an absolute idiot. I can’t believe I was so slow and stupid to get sucked into that, and I’m meant to be being so careful with my money too! I’m going to make sure I’m much more alert from now on.

Anyway, I’m trying not to dwell on that (which is hard, I’m one of those people unfortunately). I went on to the university next. 

In front of the building is a comemerative installation to mark the site of a massive book burning (check info), something I was particularly interested in seeing – I have an interest on censorship in literature and studied it at uni. Well, it was a bit of a disappointment, as you can see:

The glass was so dirty you could barely see what was underneath, which seems a complete waste to me. The artist designed this piece, made it to be thought provoking, and all it is is a dirty piece of glass. It’s meant to be an empty library, I could just about see the shelves.

After that I was pretty tired. I attempted to find the Guggenheim Berlin, because apparently it’s free on Mondays but I didn’t manage to. I was tired, hungry and still bummed about what had happened at the gate. So I went home.

Later on I did a little supermarket shop, buying lunch materials, as I figure it is more cost effective to make my lunches. I had a pizza, Skyped my mum then chilled out the rest of the night.